Today I'm glad, and will therefore shave my testicles. I will sit on a revolving chair, and sing cure songs at the top of my lungs, while filling my mouth full of pixy stick dust and rainbow colored nerds. Today I am glad, and because of that, my heart might explode, sending chunks out my ears, nose and mouth, but that's okay, because I still plan on kissing you, and possibly even getting you pregnant, a few times over. I'm so glad in fact, I think it's high time I clean up my act, make some peppered popcorn, and impose myself openly on the world's virgin tits... but now I gotta go wash up, cause I'm starting to itch and I got some serious chapping between my ears from that glorious balloon ride I took down to the lower east side in 99 degree weather.